The gym is where we live now and socialise like never before

You put on your headphones do your sets and get out before anyone makes small talk mdash this is no longer the culture at gymsToday you might enter for a workout and leave with dinner plans a trek invitation a new friend or a contact for workFor a growing number of urban Indians the gym has become the place where life happens outside home and work It is where adults who might otherwise struggle to make friends keep bumping into the same people several times a week while doing something together The conversation starts with protein or form moves to weekend plans and sometimes ends up becoming a part of your lifeThe gym isnrsquot just where we work on our bodies It is increasingly where we work on our social lives too When Mananveer Singh moved from Bengaluru to Mumbai he was already a gym regular Naturally he found the closest gym to his new home in a new cityMananveer SinghEventually the gym gave him his closest friend in Mumbai ldquoInitially we used to just help each other at the gym or correct the form Then we exchanged numbers and we had one conversation where he gave me great insights Thatrsquos how we grew to become friends Now we even stay in the same buildingrdquo says Singh about his friend Siddharth an actorThe new friendship eventually helped him meet more people in the industry and build connections that contributed to his career as a Punjabi hiphop artist What makes the connection interesting is that he wasnrsquot there to network The gym simply gave him a reason to keep seeing peopleFor someone new to a city that can be invaluable ldquoOffline meetups are better for me I have often thought of starting my own run club just as a way to build a fitness communityrdquo he says describing how the gym helped him socialise and naturally meet people ldquoItrsquos a great space for anyone who wants to socialise but doesnrsquot like social gatherings or parties I think people are bored of that Having a shared experience at the gym similar fitness goals mdash sharing all this gets you out of your shell rdquoSamata Verma and Vandit Shah at their engagementI donrsquot know what my relationship with working out would be without these peoplerdquo says Sneha Mani who claims shersquos not someone who is too into fitnessMani recently moved from Mumbai to Goa but discovered that moving cities meant leaving behind more than a familiar addressAt her CrossFit gym in Mumbai mdash which she attended for three years mdash she had found a community that extended well beyond exercise People went to each otherrsquos weddings and birthdays stayed connected and became part of one anotherrsquos lives As an adult she says making friends isnrsquot easy The gym changed thatldquoHow the coaches are helps too They are friendly they know everyonersquos name they make someone new feel includedrdquo she says explaining that it can determine how quickly a room full of strangers becomes a community ldquoOn a management level gyms organise fitness experiences outside the gym like a trekhellip I never went for those thoughrdquoSneha ManiMani says her life in Mumbai was full The gym didnrsquot just help her make friends it also helped work ldquoI have bought jewellery from someone who would make it Even my number would constantly get passed around because I work as a therapistrdquoMani misses all that at her new gym in Goa ldquoItrsquos very cheap and nice but itrsquos traditional in the sense that you work out and you leave I am looking for a better place now where I can find that communityrdquoSamata Verma had already decided she didnrsquot want to date someone from the gym Her reasoning was practical What if it didnrsquot work out and she lost her one happy placeThen she saw Vandit Shah outside the gym and changed her mind They eventually began talking over protein Both were vegetarian and Vandit was someone their instructor often recommended to people looking to increase their protein intake So she sent him a DM on Instagram That one message turned into a daylong conversation Verma says meeting someone offline was refreshing ldquoI had assumed I might have to meet a partner through a dating app Thatrsquos how most of my friends have met their partnersrdquoMichael Joseph fitness coachShe already knew Shah was into fitness and more disciplined than her ldquoIt just gives you the first step to make a conversationrdquo she saysShe says that Shah now her fianceacute has always had a core group at the gym Now they are her friends too ldquoThe group also became part of bringing us together I was always sure what I wanted in my partner Vedant was still thinking but they sort of convinced him to try it out Initially of course they would tease us But they are our core group For Vandit especiallyrdquoNow engaged the couple train together and are participating in Hyrox together Even on hectic workdays therersquos one appointment they can count onldquoAt least we know that wersquore going to be meeting at the gymrdquoWhat your coach saysFor fitness coach Michael Joseph getting people to know each other is part of the workoutIn his group sessions he introduces every new client and gets members to work together ldquoEveryone needs to know each other because we have drills and we have some exercises that you need to do togetherrdquo he says ldquoThey push and encourage and they keep on helping each otherrdquo For Joseph the objective is not just to finish a workout ldquoIf you act like a team then everyone performs well and everyone gets the best resultrdquo He also deliberately takes the group outside the gym Once a month he books a turf for games and activities and organises outstation fitness retreats where clients can work out have fun and get to know each other betterldquoTeam bonding is very importantrdquo he says ldquoI want everyone to know each other So it becomes like a good team It becomes a communityrdquoThere is a practical reason behind this Fitness he points out isnrsquot supposed to be a twomonth project The people around you can make it easier to keep showing up particularly on the days when motivation is missing ldquoIf you come with a partner that partner is always kind of motivating you to come to the gym even on days that you probably feel a little lowrdquo he says And perhaps thatrsquos why these friendships stick ldquoYou meet likeminded peoplerdquo Joseph says ldquoPeople who come to the gym are also very positive in their approachrdquo For Joseph the community isnrsquot an accidental byproduct of fitness It is part of what keeps people in the gameFriends and fitness go togetherRati Verma started gymming in Class 9 initially wanting to lose weight She was also an introvert so making friends wasnrsquot exactly on her workout planThat changed once she was at the gym She became close friends with another gymgoer who introduced her to more people Their friendship eventually ended but the wider circle remained ldquoThe other people he introduced me to or I met through him are still friends with merdquo she saysTwo of her gym friends are now among her closest friends They know about her career goals relationships and family life The group also meets for coffee and dinner outside the gymRati VermaEven a punishing fourhour daily commute hasnrsquot managed to put fitness on the backburner ldquoWithout the gym I feel like something is missingrdquo she says ldquoI donrsquot feel like myselfrdquoLife without the gym is ohso boring For Shreya Khaladkar the gym is like a launchpad She started talking to people there and discovered that many of them were at different stages of life but shared one priority healthThen the invitations began Someone was swimming someone else was running There was a trek over the weekend Her gym friends introduced her to other activities which introduced her to other peopleldquoEven if they are not your closest friends they know a part of your life that sometimes maybe your friends also donrsquot knowrdquo she says explaining how workout friends tend to discuss health nutrition and even athleisure fashion oftenShreya KhaladkarToday she has different groups from the gym kickboxing and running Her running club has moved well beyond fitness ldquoItrsquos extended from going beyond friendships to going to each otherrsquos kidsrsquo birthday partiesrdquoWhy is the gym such an easy place to start talking ldquoThere is already an icebreaker you can help each otherrsquos form or offer a tip Therersquos also time in between sets to actually chat a littleWomen especially we discuss fashion too right You will compliment someonersquos pants and they tell you where they got it from And suddenly therersquos a group hovering over an app to find the pantsrdquo she saysWithout the gym what would her life be like ldquoOh so boringrdquo she says